Void

I keep awake to the dawns,
To the windows, painted black
And a moment,
Just a moment,
Before you start, drifting in me
Invading my thoughts.

And I,
End myself up,
Groping that cold, stale coffee on my windowsill
The last, unfinished mug,
From the last night.

It's not been long since you left,
No occasional message bombs,
No exchanges of smiles,
No hints dropped.

You,
You gathered yourself and left one morning,
Like there was little,
So little left of me,
That'd fill you up.
You,
You left behind a void.
A void,
A violent void,
A void, this empty,
A void, that strangles,
A void, with nothing.

But,
Still with a lot.
A lot,
About, how you had a crush on that guy from next school,
About, how you loved momos,
About, how you think Hillary'd have made a better president,
About, how you'd define love as 'something else'
About, how you had a lot in your mind and could only write up a portion.

A void.
An emptiness,
Compelling me,
To push my face hard on pillow
An emptimess that hits me with gush of ice cold wind-
Taking me back to you,
Your warm hug, on that chilly night.
Taking me back on how
I was all well with my espresso,
And how you took me to latte, and cappuccino,
And your taste,
Slow and steady,
The taste of your tongue.

And,
I am still struggling,
With everything,
Into this void.

How you'd have raised your head from my shoulder,
And whisper in my ear.
Only,
Nothing of this sort would repeat.

It's not been long,
And I cannot even try,
To scrape off the pieces of this void.
Pieces of this void, that you left behind,
Pieces of you and I,
Pieces of what 'we' could have been.
Pieces of you, that cling to my heartstrings,
Pulling them every time.

I keep awake to the nights too.
Pitch dark, with only that eerie sound,
Not your goodnight text.